Viv Gordon, grande dame of media-industry placements, read this out at a recent PR-Net meeting:

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say,
“I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy.
One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says,
“She’s fantastic in bed.” That’s Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his 
Telephone number.
The next day your call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.”
That’s Telemarketing.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and
Says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.” 
That’s Brand Recognition.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into 
Going home with your friend. 
That’s a Sales Rep.

Your friend can’t satisfy him so she calls you.
That’s Tech Support.

You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and 
Straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink.
You say, “May I,” and reach up to straighten his tie while brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then give him a look that says,
“By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.”
That’s Public Relations