Big kisses go to Stephen Forbes at Meropa who represents BA and Sue whose name on a ticket means access to the Club lounge from where I am now writing.

We got to the airport early so only a handful of others are here. I expected the lounge would be more luxe but I'm pleased that it is of the same quality as the Premier Class lounge I regularly use freely with my Diners Club card.

Check-in went smoothly but still took an hour and a last-minute consciousness lapse meant I brought my Khiel's moisture lotion in my carry-on. I had to empty its contents into a plastic bag or dump the lot. Questions currently on my mind: Will the lounge access in Cape Town mean arrival lounge access in London; why is the Peter O'Toole lookalike wearing pants with elasticised ankles; will no spell check finally expose me; what happens to all the dumpted goodies - is there some great semi-used liquids sale that I'm missing and, finally, when will the pink bubble burst? So far everything is running to plan.

I can see that you boys were going to have a great time, you sound so excited.

Heres me on the ship reading your fab travels