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Thanks, please come again soon ;-)

Have a nice day", "Please come again", "See you again soon", "Thanks", "Thanx", Tx" are just some of the facile words scribbled by warm-hearted and probably well-meaning restaurant staffers onto bills. Who reads them anyway? Why bother? Frankly, I'd prefer my restaurant slip unadulterated, the offense of pervasive high prices is sufficiently horrid without illiterate mush to match.

Let's unpack this for a moment: if, as I imagine, their intention is benign wouldn't it be more an indication of their pleasure or gratitude to leave us a tip; but if, as I project, their intention is to secure an increased gratuity, wouldn't their phone number be more effective? The real issue in this conundrum, is that the gesture is so lacking in style, totally without intensity, flagrantly without real emotion that we shouldn't tip them at all.

I've received restaurant bills with little sketches similar to Liberace's excessive autograph that featured a grand piano with burning candles, Smileys are commonplace nowadays while full-palate drawings are only a step away.

Am I being unnecessarily grumpy or has my tolerance for claptrap worn thin? Either way, I'm probably eating out too much.


[27-Oct-04]
Brian Berkman
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