It was refreshing to meet a straight man at the launch of FIBO STEEL at the glam offices of Uwe Koetter. Martina Barth, looking even more fabulous than usual, competed only with Mrs Koetter for air kisses and “fabulousity”.  Only the finest grade A, well-hung fillet was there. Even though Sascha Polkey oohed and aahed at how trim I was (which was thankfully echoed by paparazzi Andrew Brown) compared to the company, I felt like Orson Welles without the talent. I was cornered by Heino, one of a twin, who remembered me from my time as chairman of the Sea Point Ratepayers Association and bemoaned his bad luck with Romely Park and the association. 

Rod Stevens, former planning chairman of the aforementioned, was there too, looking dashing. Aside from the owners of Monolo restaurant who are gorgeous and those of the Metropole who aren't, it was flashing smiles and gym-formed butts. The indifferent sushi was made by two blond boyz and I chatted briefly to two house models, one a delicious caramel, the other just dull stubble.

Butch stars

I swished in and around all things shiny, looked at the highly homoerotic promo material that features two butch soccer stars, Dida and Buffon, in the flesh-on-flesh struggle to become Number 1, and clutched my chopsticks as the only way to protect myself from the pretties. Not that any of them noticed. 

In the thankfully short speech a new Pravda Vodka cocktail was announced. It’s called Bling (or maybe Blink -- I'm not really sure) and is available from the Metropole for R3500 – it’s a shot of Voddie with an Uwe Koetter diamond pendant.

Immediately thereafter I went to The Blue Danube for dinner. They have an amazing winter special - R135 for three courses and a glass of wine. The lentil and bacon soup I could have done without but the kabeljou in crayfish sauce was wonderful and the crème brulee was absolutely perfect; the best I've had. Ignore the ubiquitous blue and 1982 wall sconces and go there to eat. Service was excellent as was the company - John French and his young friend Grant. It was wonderful to see Adèle Sulcas at the adjacent table with her French husband and to have a catch-up. Also fabulous was to see her mother Patricia, who, despite tending to her ailing husband in hospital, was looking wonderful and bright.