A week later I had to replace the gearbox.

When the after-sales service folks at Auto Atlantic called me to test my satisfaction I explained that I wasn’t. I had lost faith in the brand I was so passionate about. My Mini had bad juju and I wanted another. A month passed without a follow-up call. I then rang service manager Russell Robertson and arranged a meeting directly with him. I outlined my concerns while platitudes flowed out of his mouth like silk scarves from a magician’s. I repeated his assurances and clarified when he would call me back. A week later, not having heard a thing, I called again. Why is it that I have to be spitting mad and brimming with vitriol before people do the things they say they will?

I really try to be mild mannered but it seems as if people conspire to make me the contrary.

Like yesterday’s lunch at Haiku.

I’ve had some good times at Haiku and have come to expect that the high price tag is appropriate for the sublime cuisine and excellent service I’ve had there – until now. As lunch wasn’t busy I was already irritated that service wasn’t its usual snappy self. First Nick came to serve us and then, recognizing Celeste, I called her when Nick wasn’t immediately at hand. My displeasure in Haiku’s menu is now clear. I don’t know how I’d correct it but I found myself asking Celeste to recommend mixed starters for the table rather than me reading through each listing.

Charles Hughes and Conrad Fick from Tru-Cape represented the client while Roger Neale-May and I were the agency at this working lunch. Conrad doesn’t like spicy food which I’m sure I communicated to Celeste so was embarrassed when the majority of dishes served to the table were prefixed by “spicy”. Charles, a sashimi fundi, ordered mixed sashimi – the usual along with octopus and seared tuna. The sushi didn’t arrive until after the main course ducks. I get that they operate kitchens independently of each other and that dishes are brought to the table when ready, but I don’t get that raw prep can take longer than roasted duck.  

Anyhoo, we were brought two dishes we didn’t order and they forgot the octopus we did. Even the coffee orders were confused. When I chatted to manager Oliver about it he said that a trainee waiter had sent the two dishes we didn’t order to us in error and promised he would take up my concerns at the waiters briefing later that day. Charles, who has traveled to China 37 times, wasn’t impressed with the food. As we were about to leave, the table conjectured how it was possible for a restaurant that opened in August to be awarded Eat Out’s Best Newcomer.  

Belthazar wins best Steakhouse  

Another award has also been on my mind. I was among the media to be invited by the Hazells to celebrate Belthazar’s accolade as the Best Steakhouse nationwide in the SA Grainfed beef Chateau Libertas Steakhouse of the Year Awards. Years ago I did publicity for St Elmos and for Café Balducci, both owned by Ian Halfon. Belthazar is a partnership between Ian and two of his kingpins – Doron Duveen and Jonathan Steyn. Everything I know of these men from Balducci is true at Belthazer too. They never accept second best. When I first visited I recall being annoyed at the high cost of wine by the glass – the Jordan Chardonnay was then R70 a glass. It may just be that I earn more now or that having dined at New York restaurants I’m more prepared to pay for excellence. I’m thrilled for them all and was really impressed by the meal they served a few hundred of us at the celebrations.

Even the media gift back was impressive. My congratulations to the Hazells if this was their doing – a beautiful glass and knife both engraved with the accolade, packaged in a purpose-designed box. Even the media release was printed on matching paper and bound in a custom-made folder.

My only complaint is that Lannice Snyman – for whom I have the greatest admiration, trotted out a cliché ridden speech which just served to waste time. This is not like the Lannice I know. I cannot help but think something is not as it should be…  

The Nellie becomes an Oasis for Rolling Stones that Gather no Moss.  

Full credit goes to the Mount Nelson for trying to convert my once unhappy opinion that the Cape Colony restaurant fared poorly against its peers. It may be that I’m fascinated by the divine Antonia Labia who makes up in authenticity what she may lack in PR smarts. Her very natural, charmingly unguarded personality makes me enjoy her company so much so that I won’t compromise her by repeating our conversation.

The equally fabulous Catherine Bolton from Manley Communications hosted a table at the newly opened Oasis restaurant. Chef Stephen Templeton gave us the honour of a tour of his kitchens which now includes a dedicated bakery that will be selling breads and pastries in the near future. The concept for Oasis – developed after visiting Portugal and other Med countries is to offer the freshest seasonal goodies simply prepared and to allow diners to select from raw flesh to be prepared by the chefs as they like it. I’ll write more about Oasis on another occasion but for now, while it may not be as unique as they’d like to think it is (it seems very similar to the Radisson’s BBQ offering) it is exactly the way I like to eat and I look forward to doing so again soon. Perhaps when I visit next Kate Moss will have got over Vanity Fair’s cover story about her failing career and relationships and be more pleasant to be around.