My friend, Gaby Palmer, recently moved from the MountNelson to the Westcliff. She arranged my overnight stay as their guest but considering she didn’t even hint that Brad Pitt was also in residence, I’m not talking to her at the moment.

Mark Holden is chatting about the history of The Westcliff. Pointing at Brenthurst here and the Lutyen-designed pagoda in the Johannesburg Zoo there. He is wearing a bright yellow silk tie and jacquard-weave white shirt with a monogrammed French cuff. When you’re the GM of one of Johannesburg’s great hotels you must look the part. He does, but he also lives the part effortlessly like the loveable character in Arthur Hailey’s Hotel – demanding and effusive with praise in the same sentence.

Over breakfast on the pool terrace with the rim-flow water emptying into the lush zoo gardens we chat about his pukka upbringing in the colonies and first-class hotel credentials. Among them, working at Claridges and the Savoy, the London hotel famous for its dining and luxury but infamous for ratting out on Oscar Wilde. In the hundred years since then, the Savoy has learnt the value of discretion – a gift that Mark obviously has in abundance after successfully keeping a major secret from me.

My rides in the golf car from the elegant Polo Lounge to my room up the hill would have been much improved if, instead of marveling at the engineering of this terracotta hillside retreat and the beautiful plantings of white iceberg roses and star jasmine, Mark had been less discreet about whom my fellow guests were.

Like the MountNelson in Cape Town, its grand older sister, The Westcliff is an Orient Express property and has benefited from decorator Graham Viney’s superb eye and attention to historic detail. The hotel -- or village rather, as it is made up of pre-existing villas converted into suites and rooms -- is perched above the bustle of busy Johannesburg. It is strangely peaceful, probably due to the lush greenery below and its elevated position. I found the upstairs, downstairs trek a little much for my lazy, unfit self but concede that it does offer a charm and privacy that other properties sometimes miss.

Hidden TV

The rooms are cleverly designed to give a low-tech air but have most of what you will require, including a printer cum fax machine and high-speed modem access. A delightful bit of low-tech is the TV which is hidden in a mirrored box and electrically winched up when the mood takes you.

The bathrooms are very roomy and equipped as you would expect a five-star bathroom to be: pool-sized bath, separate shower, loo and bidet and double vanity. I especially liked that a telephone shower was available over the one basin and the large dressing room leaves plenty of space for the LV luggage.

Even though I travel frequently I find that I never sleep well on the first night of a stay. When a good night’s sleep is essential for a busy day ahead, I travel with my own pillow but on other occasions – like this one where I had some free time to enjoy the facilities and sleep-in if I had to – I watch movies. Most top-end hotels offer a movie library but Orient Express has taken this service to new heights. Because of their involvement in the movies -- Murder on the Orient Express being the most famous of them -- they keep a library of every Academy Award winning movie. That night I dozed to sleep watching Gloria Swanson and William Holden in Sunset BLVD and drifted off dreaming about meeting a movie star.

The Westcliff was abuzz on the crisp Johannesburg morning that I was shown around the facilities. The newly completed Summer Terrace and the Jacaranda Hill ballroom and conference centre are tasteful and understandably one of the most sought-after venues. The La Belle Terrasse fine-dining restaurant, the private Lutyen’s dining room and The Loggia provide different but delectable spaces in which to eat as do the rooms, which are fully geared for in-room dining. Regrettably my dreams of sharing the pool with Brad Pitt came to naught as it was only after I left the hotel I realized he had been a fellow guest. Damn them and their discretion!