Fat Albert’s Latino burger with guac, jalapenos, sour cream and salsa has all the zing you’ll need.

THE burger and I have come a long way. It was with a Steers Cheese Burger in the 80’s that I simultaneously ended eights years of vegetarianism and a lifetime of eating only kosher. When I did the PR for Hard Rock Café, it was their burger (and onion rings) that I loved the most and recently it was a burger at New York’s 21 that confirmed its reputation delivered more than its kitchen did.

It was Café Manhattan’s lamb burger that first caught my attention (in the years that Steven Nelson owned it) while their current burger is still excellent value.

The first place I encountered the gourmet burger was at Royale in Long Street and instantly fell for their sweet potato wedges as an alternative to chips.

Fat Albert’s has just opened in Heritage Square. They’ve gone for the check tablecloth-look but with a weightier fabric that is a little more sophisticated than regular gingham. Exposed brick walls, wine crates and a honky-tonk piano complete the jazzy vibe that is softened by tan leather back cushions.

Although some of the best chefs I know are rake thin, I’ve always thought that the heavier, 150kg-Ferdinand Point look-a-likes must enjoy food more than others and consequently be better at making it. I was especially pleased to see a heavier chap in Whites at the launch of Fat Albert’s and thought it was he after which it was named, but on reading the menu cover and seeing a reed-like chap in Whites on the following visit I wonder if Fat Albert headed back to Harlem.

I naively thought that the chefs (thick and thin) would be hard at work making burger patties so was disappointed to learn that the burgers – well the soya ones at least – are supplied. At the launch I had a lentil burger that was so delicious it reminded me of my best years as a vegetarian. I enjoyed mini versions of their Latino (R49) with guac, sour cream, jalapeño and salsa, Shangai (sic) Sid (R49) with Satay sauce, bean sprouts and carrots and Lemon Calamari Steak (R44) served with onion rings and lemon mayo.

For this review I ordered the Popeye (R46) described on the menu as lentil and soya patty, creamed spinach and feta. I was alarmed when I was served a regular beef patty but even more so when they replaced the offending patty with a freshly made lentil and soya one that contained meat. Had this happened when I was a pious vegetarian I might have become Popeye and shoved it down the chef’s throat. Caveat diner: the lentil and soya burger is not the vegetarian option – the chickpea and sun-dried tomato patty is. Louise Marsland and Kay Brugge, with whom I was dining, shared my erroneous assumption. Please warn known bunny huggers.

Kay had sirloin (R75) which he said was delicious while Louise had the Ostrich burger (R54) served with cranberry and green peppercorn relish which I tasted and agree is excellent.

Although the salads are a meal themselves we each had one as a starter: Louise felt her Oaky Smoked Salmon (R46) need more salmon, my Cobb Salad (R42) with blue cheese, bacon and avo was plentiful while Kay was happy with his 5th Avenue (R38) roasted butternut, feta, sun-dried tomatoes and sunflower seeds.
We shared a choc fudge shake (R18) as dessert although I would have preferred the Crunchy Peanut Butter and Honey (R18) or Marshmallow and nuts (R18) instead.

The best burger I’ve had locally was just a few weeks ago at The Starlight Diner in Durbanville. The noisy table of drunken teens aside, the chili burger (complete with beans) and side portion of cheese and bacon chips was the most delicious. Protest food always is.

Fat Albert’s Heritage Square, Shortmarket Street, Cape Town. 021-424-4206.