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Katrina, presidential blow-jobs and a concert of a lifetime (23-Sep-05)

If a movie was especially scary I used to remind myself that it was just a movie, and not something in real life. I reminded myself of the contrary experience on Tuesday when, seated in the heavens at Madison Square Garden, New York at the From the Big Apple to the Big Easy fundraising concert for Katrina victims, that, while I was watching the concert on the screen, it was  happening right beneath my feet.

The last time I was exposed to a string of mega bands was at Milton Keynes in London years ago when I saw REM, Radio Head,  The Cranberries and a host of others whose names I didn't know. Even though it was exciting to see Lenny Kravitz and Ry Cooder, it was Bette Midler who touched me deepest followed by Dana Krall and Elvis Costello. Elton John's three-song performance was amazing. Blues played a big part of this concert with performers like Allen Toussaint, the Neville Brothers, the Meters, Clarence "Frogman" Henry, Irma Thomas and the Dixie Cups belting out standards. Jimmy Buffett, who I'd not heard of before, was clearly a crowd favorite as was Credence Clearwater Revival's John Fogerty. Dave Matthews joined Buffett for Neil Young's "Heart of Gold and then returned to a separate concert a block away.

I was very excited to see Bill Clinton (and to note the amazing standing ovation he received from the audience). After four pissed teens wouldn't sit down in front of me, I left the concert 15 minutes early to avoid the congestion of a zillion people leaving MSG at one time. This meant that I missed seeing Simon and Garfunkel perform together on stage. Paul Simon did one of the first sets and I noted how old he was looking, but I'm very sorry to have missed them singing Bridge over troubled Water and Homeward Bound which, given the reason for the concert, must have been especially poignant. 

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Ipod is cleaning up (20-Sep-05)

I've long wondered about the powerful transition that moved Apple from being a computer supplier to one of the globe’s biggest music retailers. On the streets of New York today, more people appear to use iPod than any other individual personal stereo, and at the Apple shop in SoHo on Sunday, the fury and flurry around the brand reminded me of swarming bees.

My personal iPod conversion began when I read that Dunhill had created an exclusive leather cover for the MP3 player but, believing them too costly, I'd delayed purchase. Until now.

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No more, Nobu (19-Sep-05)

I remember paying R1200 for a meal in London during those horror years when the pound was almost 20 times the value of the Rand. Well, New York isn't too far behind. I've just spent R824 on dinner for one at Nobu. Was it worth it? Yes, but only just. Having to book a month in advance for the table and select from one of two sittings was a little annoying but the Omakase - eight-course tasting menu was extremely delicious. The rock lobster tempura with shitake mushrooms in a creamy spicy sauce is notable as is the fabulous broiled black cob - marinated for three days served with foie gras and pickled scallions and stem ginger. They are possibly two of the best Japanese dishes I have eaten.

Earlier in the day I had a vegetarian fajita with guac and corn chips, a little later a cappu with chocolate fondant cake and later still a frozen latte. Greenwich Village is my favorite part of New York and despite spending at least five hours walking in its charming tree-lined streets today, I feel I could spend an entire month just discovering it. The walk from GV to TriBeCa, where Nobu is situated, took me around 30-minutes of fast paced trotting - trying to keep my heart rate up without breaking into too much of a sweat. I haven't weighed myself since I've been here but, judging from this picture and the fit of my trousers, I don't think I've put on too much.

Yesterday, I had the ultimate shoe-high sandwich at the Second Avenue Deli and a week ago I was treated to lunch at 21 - New York's culinary institution. In between munching Kellogg's Special K and low-fat yogurt at home, I've been sampling what the city has to offer. It really is a culinary heaven - in every street there is a large selection of  places to visit at vastly different prices - although even the cheapest meal for under $10 is still more than the average meal back home.

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Being well hung on Paul Stuart (15-Sep-05)

As a teen wanting to escape the perceived drudgery of suburban life I, instead of turning to drink and drugs, turned the pages of GQ magazine (look out for my article in the November issue). When my need for connection to the world of  glamour became overwhelming, I would call international directory enquiries and ask for arbitrary numbers just to hear the voice of the American operator on the other side of the phone. Such was the malaise of my teens.

For a reason still not fully understood, an advert for Paul Stuart fragrance really appealed to me. So much so, in fact, that I purchased a bottle of it from New York over the telephone. I know now that advertising rarely delivers on its promise, but then, ripe for consumer indoctrination, it was a force more powerful than reason. The tale of Paul Stuart and I is a tawdry one - and the beginning of many things in my life. A penchant for expensive, imported goods, a love of brands and the publicity and advertising that create them and, a until this week, a virginal relationship with Madison Avenue.

Although my pulse quickened when I walked past Paul Stuart on Madison - also, by the way, the spiritual home of the advertising industry, I didn't go inside. I felt that such a pilgrimage required more thought and more time to digest the feelings around such a visit. After all, my tastes have changed from the English elegance of Paul Stuart to the more robust (and certainly more fashionable schmatis of Marc Jacobs and Ted Baker. At Bloomingdales last night I licentiously sidled up to a delicious corduroy jacket which fortunately didn't fit me as my credit card wouldn't survive a $750 purchase. Today I'll visit Paul Stuart - I feel I'm ready now. I've had Paul Stuart wooden hangers in my cupboard for almost 20 years - a reminder of the grip that advertising holds over me and my need that even if I'm not, at least my garments should be well hung.

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No Sex in this City (13-Sep-05)

Plans to meet Candice Bushnell were thwarted by my dogged refusal to follow instructions. I don't know why I even bother asking for them because something gets switched off in my brain and while I hear them clearly enough, I can't retain them. This came to a frustrating head last night when I wanted to meet the writer of Sex in the City who was reading from her new book at Barnes and Noble. I thought the instructions were easy - up 30th street to Park avenue until I see B&N. The long and short of it is that I didn't get it right and found myself on the opposite side of the city. With my evening plans ruined, I trudged the streets aimlessly searching for something as exciting as Carrie Bradshaw. After a quick shopping break at Old Navy (golf t-shirts on the sale rail were just $6), I found myself in a dodgy part of town where cars seemed to sleep at night in three-story contraptions. There was a bakery advertising itself as the Best Cheesecake in New York just behind Madison Square Gardens which caught my attention and for $2.50 it is probably the best cheese cake I've tasted too. It looked like a fridge cake but tasted like a baked one. Heading to the adjacent Penn Station  next door, the smell of pizza called. The Pizza Hut was empty at around 8pm but one just called Pizza was buzzing. The first mega slice I had ($2.80 per slice) was chicken and not especially tasty but as I still had lots of diet coke left I ordered another slice this time with pepperoni which I've not tried before. What I especially liked about the pizza was a soft crunch factor - kind of crisp shortbread. V good.

Taking the wrong train back landed me in Queens instead of Manhattan but with the high temperatures outside sitting in the air-conditioned train was a pleasure. A metro pass turns out to be excellent value - $24 for seven days unlimited bus or tube use - much cheaper than renting a room!

 

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Never Forget: To destroy is as human as to create (11-Sep-05)

Ground Zero: St Paul's church is Manhattan's oldest public building and has provided refuge over hundreds of years. It witnessed the fall of the adjacent World Trade Centre four years ago and then, as it does now, provided a place for the city's tears. Bells throughout the city are tolling for the dead. Brothers and sisters read out the names of their siblings who perished while others - some like me just curious onlookers, walk the cavern's perimeter. Just the next-of-kin are allowed onto the site itself, so the rest of us pace the lengths or sit in the warm sun. The sky is perfectly clear today and while some have their heads back looking into the heavens, none has a smile on their face. People express themselves in different ways - one man has New York 9/11/01 Never Forget tattooed on his right arm, another wears a T-shirt - Never Forget Kevin Reilly  FDNY 9/11/01.

Less than a block away people are queuing for their bagels and coffee - a gorgeous woman in front of me orders the Everything Bagel with extra cheese and I order my first (and last) knish. As a culinary adventurer I regularly put my "eating anything at least once" motto into practice. The knish is mashed potato mixed with spinach and then covered in a light pastry batter.

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Freud, farts and Fifth Avenue. (09-Sep-05)

Freud talks about the power the child discovers when he can control his bowel movements - the ability to release or hold becomes the focus of the anal-stage of development. Despite by mother telling me I thought that the sun shone out of mine, I can now confirm with confidence that my power over the machinations of the universe does, indeed, lie at the top of my legs.

Marveling at the majesty of Fifth Avenue New York, riding the escalators and breathing the high-cost air at Saks and dipping my head into the air-conditioned cool of Gucci, Givenchy, Briony and every other luxury brand in the universe, I thought that one of the perks of being in a city of a trillion people far away from home is that no one will know me. With this new confidence under my belt, so to speak, I decided that it would be okay to release the pent up flatulence from eating an entirely forgettable chili dog into the public air at fifth avenue . Finding the moment was difficult as it is a very busy street and I didn't want to be so rude as to discharge on top of someone else so I waited, carefully looking behind me to check who was downwind. With the coast as clear as it could be, I released the chili-dog fumes into the atmosphere.

As if by magic, or the great and awesome powers I hold, Leon Perlman - a family friend from Cape Town , materialsed out of the fumes. I had read of an Indian guru SaiBaba who could materialise gems and holy dust from thin air, but I know that I have a talent that will probably make me as rich as it has him.

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New York Day One - Take a tip from me (06-Sep-05)

The Royal York - Manhattan: Hello from the Big Apple. Day One of my adventures in New York. Went for an early morning walk along the East River to familiarise myself with my immediate neighbourhood. I'm staying in Morris and Shirley Karon's fabulous apartment which even I may have difficulty living up to. FAB-U-LOUS. I headed out with $10 expecting to come back with the equivalent of R65's goodies. A healthy breakfast at The Ritz Diner (in absolutely no way related to the famous hotelier or, in fact, anything resembling good taste) of half a grapefruit and a bowl of wallpaper-glue oats and a beaker of coffee plus the purchase of the New York Post for 25c has left me with $1.50 remaining. In Cape Town terms, I imagine R65 could have secured the above chi-chi Cafe Balducci with the added benefit of eye-candy staffers.

In some respects, New York is not expensive and the deals I got at Bloomingdales and Macy's represent excellent value. In some quarters food is good value too, like the select-five dishes from the China Town-buffet for $4. Very tasty. At others, like the v trendy Dos Caminos in SoHo, a coffee and frozen margarita cost more than the Donna Karan silk tie I bought on sale.

The trip up the Empire State building was expected as were the heavy crowds in all directions. Later today I'll complete the sight-seeing component of my trip with a visit to the Liberty gal and Ellis Island. I preferred Dean & Deluca, the premier Deli over the Empire state and, as I write this, I'm drinking D & D's Taratzu coffee from my branded cup. 

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From Heathrow - Arrivals Terminal 4 (London) (02-Sep-05)

Despite my best efforts, requests to be upgraded from cattle to business class on British Airways remained unfulfilled. Even upon arrival, my sugar- sweet requests to pay, yes - I tell you, pay to use the arrival Club Class lounge  were refused.

Good news though, is that 10 minutes walk across a sky bridge, is the Hilton Hotel which, for just 10 pounds lets one use the gym and shower facilities. What a deal, I thought. On arrival at the hotel, the noisy air engines still in my ears, I didn't realise the alarm was sounding and the hotel was evacuating.

Now I'm at Starbucks - having enjoyed a bacon and egg pannini, panne chocolate and grande cappu  waiting for my taxi to collect me. Ah, the wonders of cattle-class travel.

 

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